Go Big AND Go Home: Epic Quitting Stories
We all have days we want to quit our jobs. Sometimes the answer is to survive a bad day, other times it’s to get out while you are still breathing. The following true tales of woe are from people in the latter camp, and when they went out, they did it with style.
(Photo Credit: fuzzcat/Flickr)
1. Spank the Chicken
No, it’s not a new dance. It’s how a waiter quit his job. Moving down the aisle of a busy restaurant balancing a tray full of drinks (not an easy task!) a diner grabbed him by the arm. Miraculously, he did not spill the drinks all over her or anwhere else. When she announced that her chicken was bad, he put down the tray, picked up the chicken and gave it a good spanking. “Bad chicken, bad chicken!” At that point, there was nothing left to do but hang up his apron and exit the restaurant.
2. You Might Be Pretty
Arriving to work on time in the rain, this (temporarily wet from the rain) lady on Reddit was greeted by her male manager with a passive-aggressive comment, “You know… well, it’s OK if your boyfriend likes it.” Not allowing him off the hook, she pressed him to explain himself. “You could be pretty if you did something with your hair.”
What makes this an epic quitting story is she worked in a wine store. She bought herself two cases at the employee 30 percent discount then up and quit right before inventory. They begged her to come back; it must have felt good to say, “No.”
3. Sincerely, Me
Sometimes blunt honesty is the way to go. The following epic letter of resignation is from The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Work:
During the years that I have worked here, I’ve come to better understand my own needs and the needs of the company. Regrettably, I’ve reached the conclusion that those needs are far too different.
Without any blame or bad feelings, I have decided to tender my resignation. My last day will be (date redacted, but it was in 2006).
This is not a decision I have made lightly, nor in haste. I want you to know that my departure has nothing to do with the fact that I am over-worked and under-paid, or that the company is unwilling and/or unable to be more competitive with other employers.
It’s just that I want to work for a company I respect, where I will feel like I am properly rewarded for my contributions.
I sincerely want to thank you for continually providing me with reasons to finally move on and look for other opportunities.
I hope that, after I have left, the management will have a better understanding, and appreciation, of what I did during my time here.
Of course, in your own professional life, if you need to change jobs, your best bet is still to give formal (and sufficient) notice, and leave with your head held high and your career intact. Alison Doyle at About.com’s Job Searching site offers a complete guide to quitting so that you get your last check and a reference … instead of a featured spot in a roundup of quitting stories.
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