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The Only Way to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

Zombies
Evan Rodd, PayScale

Halloween is over, and the end of 2012 draws closer. It seems the many doomsday predictions will never come to fruition, and hopefully, the possibility of a zombie apocalypse remains within the confines of a Romero Movie.

HR professionals know a thing or two about zombies that lurch around the office, hungry for the next opportunity to take down moral and feast upon your customer relationships. Maybe you were desperate for new talent, and brought in new hires without careful evaluation? Maybe a zombie employee has bitten co-workers, infecting them with the same disease that now prevents a once vibrant employee from utilizing their full potential? Before you know it, your entire team has become the Evil Dead, and you are forced to barricade yourself in your office to avoid joining their ranks.

How do you defeat the walking dead in your workplace? Furthermore, what steps can you take to prevent such occurrences?

You need to carefully evaluate new talent, and create a compensation plan that keeps employees satisfied. Fresh data is the only way to combat the zombies’ hunger for fresh brains, and a well-structured plan can assure team loyalty when the zombies come knocking.

When employees aren’t worried about their salary, they can concentrate on the job at hand. This keeps morale up, and makes it that much easier to spot a potential viral outbreak. You can’t always trust your gut feeling when it comes to compensation, and given the pace of the market, do you want to rely on intuition alone? It’s of course, never a bad idea to trust your instincts, but that similar feeling could be what allowed you to make ill-informed hiring decisions in the first place. Now you’ve fostered a relationship with your employees, except they’ve turned into zombies, and you need to eliminate them to save the rest of your team. If only you had the data to back up your intuition.

PayScale provides fresh salary data, and helps you create transparent compensation philosophies to assure satisfactory employee performance. Creating pay structure based on market data is the only antidote.

You’ve made smart hires because you evaluated talent, asked questions, and armed yourself with an arsenal of data. Your team is safe, happy, and informed, and you are that much more confident in your ability to hire the right talent at the right time. Trust me, if the apocalypse does occur, a well-prepped plan is your only means of survival.

 

More than 2,300 organizations use PayScale's subscription software to:

  • Allocate raises. PayScale Insight allows you to allocate raises based on employee performance and labor budget.
  • Attract talent. Price jobs based on your local market and competition.
  • Retain employees. Get pay right and show them how you did it. Your employees will be more satisfied to stay.
  • Drive performance. Get their salary right so they can focus on doing a good job.
  • Be confident. With know-how to talk about comp with anyone.

What are you waiting for?
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