What’s worse than creating a resume? If you said, “writing a cover letter,” you are both correct and also probably in the midst of a job search. Cover letters are famously hard to pull off. Get too creative, and you look overly eccentric; hew too closely to a template, and you look like a robot.
Here’s a sampling:
1. Sometimes, spell-check is not our friend.
“I’m looking for work because even though my company was profitable last year, this year they are expecting a large defecate.”
2. I do not think it means what you think it means.
“I wish to … appeal to your irrational masculine avatar.” Other gems from the same letter: “My homogeneous person was slapped right in the face.” “Hubris, however, was the only Greek concept I truly evinced during a near-graduation retrospection of my college years.”
3. To a posting that specified applicants must be in the Washington, D.C. area.
“Hello from California!”
4. The typo hat trick.
“Other skills I’ve learned are, being a proficient multi-tasker, handling detailed oriented documents with care, handling stressful situations with a clam demeanor, and joggling different projects with time management.”
5. Maybe the job was at a gym?
“I continually challenge myself … that semester I achieved a 3.93, and in the same time I managed to bench double my bodyweight and do 35 pull-ups.”
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