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5 Inappropriate Workplace Touching Lessons From Joe Biden

Maybe you're a hugger, or a back-slapper, or -- in your personal life -- a terrible flirt. Chances are, you know that none of this behavior will fly in the office, no matter how innocent your intentions. No one wants to be referred to HR for remedial training or, worse, lose their jobs because they didn't get the memo that it's 2015, and co-workers don't touch each other. In this, we are probably more with the program than many of our leaders in Washington. Take, for example, America's touchy-feeler-in-chief, Joe Biden.

Maybe you’re a hugger, or a back-slapper, or — in your personal life — a terrible flirt. Chances are, you know that none of this behavior will fly in the office, no matter how innocent your intentions. No one wants to be referred to HR for remedial training or, worse, lose their jobs because they didn’t get the memo that it’s 2015, and co-workers don’t touch each other. In this, we are probably more with the program than many of our leaders in Washington. Take, for example, America’s touchy-feeler-in-chief, Joe Biden.

Joe Biden and the Cop 

(Photo Credit: Playbuzz)

Recently, news outlets including The Washington Post and NPR took the vice president to task for getting a little too close to Stephanie Carter, the wife of new defense secretary Ash Carter, during her husband’s swearing-in ceremony.

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How close? Here’s the extremely awkward photo evidence:

Joe Biden and Stephanie Carter

That is not the body language of a comfortable person. Which brings us to our first lesson:

1. The most important reason not to touch people at work is that it might make them uncomfortable.

That’s it, really. All the other consequences — legal trouble, job loss, social censure — proceed from there. Invading people’s personal space isn’t good manners, and without manners, human beings are basically a bunch of relatively hairless primates who learned how to tie ties and put on pantyhose. Be polite, or society collapses.

2. The best-case interpretation will not work in your favor.

“Biden is a creature of his time; that’s not so much an excuse as it is context,” writes Nia-Malika Henderson at The Washington Post. “He is folksy and always (overly) familiar, the kind of guy who name-checks somebody named ‘Mouse’ at an NAACP convention.”

In other words, the absolute best spin? Old guy is old.

Joe Biden and Margaret Coons

Not exactly the press a potential presidential candidate is hoping for.

3. Even if the touchee doesn’t actually object, they might not like it.

You are probably not some sort of doctor of body language, a la supermarket tabloids. (And neither are those people, but we digress.) The real deal is, you can’t always tell how people feel by their reaction. People laugh when they’re stressed, cry when they’re happy, freeze when the vice president appears to be about to grope them in front of a Christmas tree:

Joe Biden Christmas Party

Especially when there’s a power differential at play, it’s not always easy to tell how people really feel about being handled. Better to stick to brief handshakes.

4. And even if they’re fine with it, the folks around them might not be.

Look at the lady in this picture, and then look at the guys she’s with:

Joe Biden biker lady

Does it look like they’re going to vote Democrat? Being inappropriate in the workplace makes everyone uncomfortable, not just the victim. And while you might not need your co-workers to cast their vote for you at an actual ballot box, make no mistake: you are dependent on their goodwill, in order to accomplish your goals. You won’t earn their support by creeping everyone out. 

5. Most people who enjoy the behavior are also super inappropriate.

It seems mean to pick on great fictional American Leslie Knope, just as Parks and Recreation is about to leave us forever. However, consider how she closed out her brief meeting with the veep:

LESLIE: See you tomorrow!

BIDEN: Uh, you will?

leslie gif

If you’re a casual workplace toucher, you might get a lot of enthusiasm from some folks, only to find your own boundaries somewhat compromised. Think about that, before you accidentally throw in your lot with folks whose idea of “friendly” exceeds your own.

(Photo Credits: 1. Evan Vucci/AP, 2. AP, 3. Facebook, via The Daily Mail, 4. Via Victory Girls Blog, 5. Via imgur)

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Which public figure would you send to HR for extra training? We want to hear from you! Leave a comment or join the discussion on Twitter.

Jen Hubley Luckwaldt
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4 Comments on "5 Inappropriate Workplace Touching Lessons From Joe Biden"

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Zel
Guest

His touching is completely inappropriate! I wouldn’t stand for such behaviour, he obviously thinks it’s ok and doesn’t have respect for others! Fatherly touch is a terrible excuse for his behaviour.

Ken
Guest

Completely inappropriate, if I’m the husband/father of any of these women Biden would have eaten a knuckle sandwich. Secret service or not. My wife would beat me to the punch anyway (pun intended). He does realize that he is the only reason Obama hasn’t been impeached yet right? Who in their right mind wants president Biden.

Bekky
Guest

I see his touches as fatherly touch. Could be honest means to show how he cares and appreciate others at his age and position. No need to take it to heart.

Melissa
Guest

We love you, Jen.

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