The rites of spring are many, but after a long winter, employers often look to the company picnic as the cure for the office blues. While some ventures into the great outdoors with friends can be both fun and memorable, oftentimes the company picnic (with mandatory attendance) can feel as awkward as a middle school dance. Here are some notorious (fictional) company outings that you’ll be glad you got to skip.
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The Office – Company Picnic episode
Dunder Mifflin is having a competition-based picnic! Things definitely won’t be awkward and regrettable! There are color-coded t-shirts for each city’s office! There’s a sketch about the history of the company that couldn’t possibly be more humiliating or painful to watch. There’s also a pretty great reason why Jim and Pam can’t return to the volleyball game after a trip to the hospital (it’s from 2009, but I guess, spoiler alert?).
You’re a go-go ’80s guy, but suddenly lose your job and your wife, formerly in charge of the house and kids, goes back to work while you become (you guessed it) Mr. Mom. She’s super successful, but you suspect that her boss is up to no good, and moving in on your lady. So, you get invited as a family to the company picnic that features a race that the big boss always, always, ALWAYS wins. What do you do to protect your manhood and keep your pride (and your one source of family income)? Spoiler: There are way ’80s shorts and sweatbands.
What do you do when your boss is a cheapskate tasked with feeding a horde of employees at the annual company picnic? You nearly poison everyone with off-brand street meat, of course. Dilbert has always been the go-to comic for the cubical set, but this company picnic episode hits the nail on the head when it comes to events that bosses often feel obliged to host and workers feel obliged to attend (but nobody really enjoys any of it).
Party Down – Party Down Company Picnic episode
What could be worse than a day of outdoors competitions among co-workers except when those competitions involve love triangles and humiliations in front of your rival company? Oh, maybe a kickball to the bathing suit area. Yep, that’s worse.
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