Stage 1 – Optimism
It may be the Friday before the holiday, but dammit, you’re determined to get all the things done. With a quad-shot cappuccino in hand, you’re ready to conquer the day. 5 p.m. will be here before you know it.
Stage 2 – Denial
You’ve suddenly wrapped up most of your tasks a lot quicker than you thought you would. Go, you! You’ve gotten so much work done, you’re ready for lunch. Unfortunately, it’s only 10:45 a.m., and time has forsaken you. You begrudgingly eat your sandwich, still clinging to the belief that this day will go by in the blink of an eye. You try to stay positive.
Stage 3 – Sadness
You chose to eat your lunch early an hour ago, and it’s now 12:15. You begin to see your coworkers, happily eating together and sharing lunch, trading stories of the past. “I wish I had saved my lunch,” you might say, as tears begin to fill your eyes at the realization that time is seemingly ticking backwards. It’s 12:16 now. Will this day ever end?
Stage 4 – Anger
The tears have finally dried and you’ve managed to find some work to keep your mind occupied. You don’t dare look at the clock, as you know it deceives you. But the temptation is too much. “It’s gotta be at least 3:30,” you mutter under your breath. But it’s only 2:28 p.m., and now you’re angry. With the melodic sounds of Slayer and Megadeath piping in your headphones, you generate a force field that repels any who might otherwise approach you at your stand-up desk. You sip your La Croix in disgust.
Stage 5 – Relief
Who knows how long your music has been on shuffle. The last two hours are blurry, but there is a glimmer of hope. You notice that most of your coworkers have started trickling out. The office is quiet except for a few dogs, and some people who have started popping open beers at their desk. A wave of relief washes over you. It’s basically 5 p.m., and you’re free to go. The saga is over.
GO FORTH AND ENJOY YOUR WEEKEND.
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