Originally written by Kat Boogard for The Muse
Your boss makes a seemingly innocent stop at your desk, but it’s not long before he’s pointing out something that recently went wrong—and he’s placing all of the blame on you.
You’re nodding along and pretending to absorb everything he’s telling you. But, all the while, there’s only one response that’s echoing throughout your brain: IT’S NOT MY FAULT!
Perhaps it was actually your colleague that dropped the ball and now you’re the one shouldering the burden. Or, maybe there’s a legitimate reason that you did things that way and your manager just isn’t in the loop on your decision-making process.
Either way, you’re itching to put an end to the finger-pointing and let your boss know that you don’t deserve the brunt of this blame game—and, ideally, you’d like to do so in a way that doesn’t sound like you’re absolving yourself of all accountability.
Sound impossible? It’s not. These three different phrases can help.
1. “I Wasn’t Aware of That”
When to Use It: In situations in which you were the one who actually made the mistake, but you only did so because you didn’t have all of the information you needed.
Why it Works: You don’t know what you don’t know, and sometimes you need to act with limited information at work.
For example, perhaps you did create that report in Google Docs—but you’re new and nobody has ever told you that your company prefers Word. Did you commit the error? Sure. However, you did so due to a lack of clear instruction and not because you’re sloppy and careless.
Want to make this phrase even better? Tack on something like, “Thanks for enlightening me—I’ll definitely keep that in mind for next time.”
2. “I Did It That Way Because…”
When to Use it: When the person blaming you is missing out on some crucial context.
Why it Works: This is the the opposite of that past scenario. You’re being told that you did something incorrectly, despite the fact that there’s logical justification behind why you did it that way.
This is your chance to explain your thought process to whoever is pointing their finger and share that it wasn’t actually a mistake but a conscious decision.
If something like that inspired your perceived blunder, it’s worth explaining that so that you can make it clear that there’s really no fault to be assigned here—it was actually the best way to handle things in that particular situation.
3. “I Think There’s Some Confusion About This—Can We Talk About It in a Team Meeting?”
When to Use it: In situations where you’re being blamed for something that your colleague actually screwed up.
Why it Works: Without a doubt, this is the trickiest situation to handle. You want to make it clear that you had nothing to do with that mix-up—but, at the same time, you don’t want to throw your own co-worker under the bus.You want to make it clear that you had nothing to do with that mix-up—but, at the same time, you don’t want to throw your co-workers under the bus.Click To Tweet
While this question might seem a little passive aggressive, it can actually be an effective way to transition this from a supposed solo mistake to something that applies to your whole department.
But, if not, you can at least rest assured that the correction will get passed along to the person who actually needed it.
Being blamed for something when you don’t deserve it is frustrating. You don’t want to be looked at as the culprit, but at the same time you don’t want to seem like a tattletale who’s passing the buck.
If the situation is truly minor, sometimes it’s better to rely on a simple, “I’m sorry” or “It won’t happen again,” as opposed to offering an explanation. After all, is it really worth that added effort to clear your name as the offender who didn’t fill the printer paper tray? Probably not.
However, in circumstances where you really need to provide an explanation, using the above three phrases can help you maintain your reputation—without sounding whiny.
Kat is a Midwest-based freelance writer, covering topics related to careers, self-development, and the freelance life. In addition to writing for The Muse, she’s also the Career Editor for The Everygirl, a columnist for Inc., and a contributor all over the web. When she manages to escape from behind her computer screen, she’s usually babying her rescued terrier mutt or continuing her search for the perfect taco. Say hi on Twitter @kat_boogaard or check out her website.
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